Dealing with dyslexia

Being told that your child has a disability is
understandably traumatic and not surprisingly most
parents are shocked by the news. Commonly parents
experience emotions of fear, disbelief, anxiety and
despair. Within moments of being given such news,
parents often struggle to distinguish between an
unconscious wish for an idealised non-dyslexic child and
the sudden realisation that their child has a
disability.

For many parents, simply trying to comprehend the
difference between their desire for a perfect child and
the disability that they are now told their child has is
a strain on their emotions. Consequently they find it
difficult to adjust to the new situation.

Often parents feel ashamed and sometimes become
depressed. Parents will sometimes make comments such
as, 'why me?' or 'why am I being punished?'

How teachers can help parents come to terms with their
child's dyslexia

1. When discussing a child's condition, this should be
done in an appropriate manner with a degree of
compassion and hope for the parents and the child
concerned.

2. Parents should be encouraged to ask questions and to
discuss their feelings about what they have discovered.

3. Try to be understanding and adopt an attitude of
acceptance to parents as they go through stages of
adjustment and accept that this is a normal process by
which they will eventually come to terms with the
condition. Be as supportive as possible.

4. Explain to parents the need for participation and
how this will help their child learn and develop.

5. Discuss what help and resources are available to
assist the child and the parents in overcoming the
child's learning disability.

The six stages of adjustment

1. Parents can become quite distraught, unhappy and
sometimes dejected. They may become very emotional and
sometimes react strangely such as with inappropriate
remarks or out-bursts of laughter.

2. Many parents may deny their child has a problem or
try to avoid the reality of coming to terms with their
child's problems in some other way.

3. Some parents may feel anger by the time they reach
this stage and often demonstrate their anger outwardly.
Alternatively they may become passive or withdrawn due
to feelings of guilt. They can also become enraged by
what has happened and look to blame anything or anyone
associated with their child's problems.

4. Parents become resigned to the fact that their child
has a problem. Feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame and
hopelessness manifest themselves due to the massive
burden and responsibility which is placed on the
parents. A small number of parents will try to hide
their child from friends and family.

5. Parents finally accept their child's problems and
achieve an unconditional positive regard towards the
child. Usually parents begin to understand and
appreciate their child and improve their own skills at
coping with the situation and are able to help their
children themselves.

6. Parents are able to come to terms with changes in
their lives, begin to imagine a brighter future and talk
to their child without emotion.